Tall women dating shorter man
Plus, navigating the world of dating is already a mess, so being on an extreme end of any physical spectrum doesn't exactly make it any easier.Kevin: I'm not one to complain about being short, because once you realize you can shop in the children's section and climb on top of things to get to out-of-reach objects, you're pretty much on a level playing field with the rest of the world. I think a lot of guys fetishize the height gap and say things like, "I'm so into you because you're so short," or "It's really hot knowing that I could lift you up in bed," etc.And as I got older, more and more men I dated would comment on it: "I love how I can pick you up," "You're so cute and little," and even, "I'm only dating Chaya-sized girls from now on." I got rid of him shortly after.One even said explicitly, "I feel so manly with you." It's sort of been a firsthand exercise in how a lot of guys associate traits they see as childlike with femininity — they equate my height with an overall smallness, and that then makes them feel "big," playing into a traditionally desirable gender binary and power structure between men and women.Yes, focusing on what's inside is more important — but that's easier said than done.It's hard to ignore something as obvious as height, especially if it makes a person stand out.Meredith: I'm a trans woman who's 5'5", so average height for women in the States and shorter than most trans women I know.As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.
That's not to say that tall men are better, but that my own physical size didn't restrict me to any specific height range within the straight male population.
However, I also deal with so many ignorant men who make a huge deal about my height, probably to bury their own insecurity or intimidation.
They make endless unwarranted comments, trying to reassure me that I don't seem "too tall" or "too big." They'll say, "You carry it well," or "Just don't wear heels and you're fine." They act shocked when I say I'm six feet, and beg me to stand back-to-back. These comments also imply that there's a cutoff at which a woman's height becomes unattractive and unacceptable — and that luckily, I fall below it.
There's nothing I can do about my height to resist these norms, but I can certainly say that I'm not a "small" person, aside from physically, and guys come to see that soon after meeting me.
However, some things are near inescapable; I wish I had a penny for every time a guy called me a "firecracker" as a compliment.